'Posh', that is the first word that came to mind, when this well dressed mature lady made herself comfortable in my portable canvas folding chair. She was wearing a two-piece green tartan woolly suit, a cream coloured blouse with a matching scarf around her neck. I guessed her to be in her mid fifties. And wow, did she remind me of my Mum! Especially the little details she'd put into her dress sense. The little diamond brooch, perfect make-up and hair and a strong whiff of the Perfume 'Poisson'.I was a twenty-odd year old girl, working at the time at the Covent Garden Jubilee Market in London. My stall was placed in a corner, not too far from the 'Jacket Potato' man. In my opinion a very strategic place as I didn't have to go far for my lunch.
My trade was mainly Palmistry and Tarot Card readings. When I first started working at this market, the other traders dealt with me politely maybe even a little apprehensive. But over time, I slowly got to know them all, and they got to know me. I can tell you, what a lovely bunch of people! I was well looked after and in all the time that I have worked there, only once had the security guard to come out. He had to kindly remind a 'gentle man' to leave me alone. (According to this man I was working with the tools of the devil).
I had no problem with this man ranting and raving at me but he became very threatening and violent. It escalated when I chose to ignore him and he started to rip decorations off my stall.
However, not for one moment did I feel that harm would come to me as the other traders immediately stood by me. It was the only incident I have had of this type.
I have many fond memories of working at the markets. What I miss most is the amicable ambiance between the traders and the sheer amount of a variety of people that I have had the honour to give readings to. You won't usually find this type of public wandering around on psychic fairs. Tourists from all over the world, sceptics, students, psychologists, doctors, film directors, actors, business people etc. The poor and the rich. I have even done readings for Harri Krishna monks!
One particular Saturday morning, this lady wanted to have a card reading. That she looked like my mum, was of course no problem, it was only until I put the spread of cards down, that I tried to keep my eyes from bulging out of my sockets.
Remember, I was only young and when somebody is in the generation group of your mother, you automatically put them on some kind of 'pedestal' of appropriate behaviour. The last thing you'd expect is that a lady of this description was having a love-affair!
Here was a great lesson for me to learn. An all in one lesson in tactics, ethics and moral. I couldn't just blurt out: "You are having an affair!" My memory immediately flashed back to the gentleman that was with her and had paid in advance for her reading. Was that her husband or her lover?
It seemed like I had been staring at the cards for hours but, in reality my brain was racing with the speed of light.
I questioned myself... How can I say this tactfully? Where do I start?
Again, I looked at the lady and her prim and proper demeanour. I started out with my usual opening to any reading. This allows me to 'tune in' and with sensitive consultations, as this one was, it also buys me some time to find the correct wording. When people have shuffled the deck of cards, I always ask them to split them in three stacks and then to choose one of the decks. She chose the one representing the 'present'.
"You have a reading that is based on your present situation." I explained.
"You are at the moment very confused and it seems that you need to make some difficult choices which does not only emotionally effect you but also other people who are close to you, especially your husband and your children. You find yourself in a triangle of conflicting interests".
I thought that this was a rather polite and a poetic way of expressing a case of adultery.
She gave me a stiff little nod of agreement which was a big relieve for me. One hurdle out of the way.
I have to admit that in the beginning of my career, I found it difficult not being judgemental of other people's conduct. My opening routine however helped me to put this very human trait aside. It brings me to a higher state of awareness and a 'neutral' disposition. Without that ability, it truly doesn't matter how psychically talented one might be, I for one wouldn't have been able to do this kind of work.
When you give hundreds of readings a week for almost fifty two weeks a year, a lot of shocking situations become very common and a part of day to day life. Having dealt with so many 'love-affair' readings for people, young and old , you'll find that the majority of them, have something in common. And you can almost divide them in different groups. And one of the headings that my 'mum' look alike fell under was: Dependant.
Dependant relationships. Dependant in the way that a dog is dependant on its owner. It's life is lived by the whim of it's owner. It waits to be fed, walked, groomed, entertained and if the owner forgot to take the dog out on time and the poor animal has done a boo boo on the carpet... It gets told off for it as well, even though it was the owners fault. It's home is also its prison. Some dogs turn on their owners and choose to escape only to find themselves a new owner. Initially it might look as if their life has become more exciting but, it only changed scenery, not the scenario.
People in 'dependant' relationships have a tendency to throw the responsibility of their happiness on the shoulders of their partner and in return, they take on the responsibility to make their partner happy. And if this means sacrificing certain desires, studies or even a career, in order to keep a relationship going, so be it. They change themselves to fit the 'idea' of a good relationship. Even if the partner is trying his or her best, in the end all he or she can do is to disappoint. This is the worse foundation one can start off with. It is, I hate to say, more of a female trait then a male trait though.
With this lady, I found it sad that her husband truly wasn't aware of her unhappiness. He still loved her as much as the day he married her. He was a man of 'routine' and it never occurred to him that his wife wanted to do more then sit at home in front of the TV. He thought she was happy just 'being together' and she never dared to bring up the subject for years! Every year they went on the same holiday, same restaurants and he'd buy her the same flowers for her birthday. What she was missing was a little Oomph and Excitement. This is what she'd found with her new 'lover'.
Her dilemma was that despite her unhappiness, she still loved her husband. The term "He is a good man" was what she used but he didn't make her feel special anymore. From what I understood from the cards was that there was absolutely no love coming from her lover though. From this man's point of view, he ultimately was interested in pure sex. His foreplay was the evenings out he'd arranged that ended up in a posh hotel.
Although I knew from the cards that her lover had no true love for her, it wasn't my place to tell her.
So I concentrated on explaining to her where it went wrong within her marriage instead and that love was still present. I also gave her my opinion that love is 'worth' fighting for. I explained to her that if she'd left her husband to find happiness in another relationship that it wouldn't be a guarantee for that relationship not to become 'stale' as well, because the underlying problem within her love life stemmed from herself and how she dealt with her unhappiness.
To explain this, I'd asked her some questions which went as follows: "Forget about these men, imagine if they weren't there... What would you do, to make yourself happy, if you weren't in a relationship at all? Would you go out on your own? Would you take on a charitable or a paid for job? Would you undertake some hobbies or travel?"
She couldn't answer these questions, she didn't know what she wanted to do and here was the underlying problem. She didn't like to be on her own and she didn't know how to make herself happy.
I told her the dog analogy. All I was doing at that moment was holding a mirror up. She on the other hand was hoping that I could tell her whom of the two men to choose, but like I said before, that is not my place.
I showed her the two most likely outcomes. Neither path was easy but the most successful would be with her present husband. It showed that talking with him about her unhappiness would upset him but that he would do the utmost to help her. The outcome of that path gave a lot of positive and happy cards in comparison to choosing for her lover. She could see that for herself. The impression some of the tarot cards give is often enough. The grudge was that she didn't know how to talk with her husband and didn't dare to.
As you can see, communication is another problem. Not being able to express or discuss with your partner the likes and dislikes you might have or the dreams that you still wish to fulfill.
When this is nipped in the bud, it will give marriage a chance to become fulfilling again but as with many, the dissatisfaction lingers to long and often ends up in partners cheating on each other and ultimately a divorce.
How did this consultation end with this lady? Well, it was an open end. I showed her the three different possibilities. The first one, was not to choose at all but first start to 'find' herself. Find her inner desires and try to accomplish something for herself instead of expecting people to 'entertain' her instead. Becoming less dependant.
The second was, a discussion with her husband, which in combination with the first option would have the best result.
The third was leaving her husband for her lover. However I also advised her that this would be the hardest path as the cards didn't show me any love from this man coming towards her but This path I advised against as it was the most risky one but in the end, her choice...
In the end I advised her that none of them would come to fruition unless she dared to make a change, for good or for worse.
A couple of months later, she emailed me, her life has had a complete turn around. She indeed spoke to her husband and both went for marriage counselling which she said was more for him then for her... she'd also took on a little job.
Not all stories like this have been success stories though. mainly because people feared too much to make a change...
Yvonne Welch - The Source Spiritual Society
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